In a case of one of the weirdest competitions we’ve seen in some time, the guys over at The Fastlane Car (TFLcar) have matched up a trio of redline warriors for an automotive face-off. The first two are naturals; the 2013 60th Anniversary Corvette convertible, and the 2012 Camaro ZL1. Strangely, a Porsche Cayenne S crossover SUV stepped in for the third opponent. We don’t get it either.

As everyone knows, the ZL1 comes packing 580 LSA-sourced horsepower, easily making it the fastest Camaro ever made. The Corvette featured here is an anniversary model, equipped with the entry-level Corvette LS3 with 430HP. The Porsche has a 400HP 4-lilter V8, impressive for an SUV, and basically the same sort of power the old Trailblazer SS put out. As such it weighs over 2.5 tons with its all-wheel drive system, and if our math is correct, then the Porsche shouldn’t stand a chance.

The mixed bag of presenters (Nathan, Roman, and Dave) that are featured in the website’s video series, square off in a triathlon of categories that include driving impressions, 0-60mph straight line acceleration, and build quality and features. Why they chose the midrange Cayenne S to compare to a Corvette and Camaro instead of a Cayman or a 911 is beyond us, but the results are what everyone expected; the Porsche got smoked.

Naturally, the presenters took jabs at each other for what the other one was driving, neither of them was particularly funny, and we weren’t very impressed with all the testing being done on a bumpy country road instead of a proper race track. To top it off, they chose a location that was a mile above sea level, which of course, has a huge effect on the performance of cars.

We’re not going to give you any spoilers, so you’ll have to watch the 9-minute video like we did for the final results.