[1]After seeing some photos of a theft recovery [2] via Corvette Blogger [3] and Insurance Auto Auctions [4], I can easily imagine Bob Newhart making this phone call to the owner of a 2007 Z06 Corvette. The photo above is how the owner remembers his car. The photo below is what he got back…
[5]
“Ah… Hello? This is Bob from the Police Property Department downtown. Is this Mr. Murray?”
“Oh, great. Ah… Mr. Murray, I’m calling to let you know that our Auto Theft squad found your Corvette.”
“Yes, you’re right… that is good news. Now, would you be able to arrange to come and get it?”
“Ah… no, no. Anytime is good.”
“What shape is it in? Ah… let me see here. Well, I guess you’re going to have to get a tow truck.”
“Why? Well… Ah… the report says that the key is missing and the car won’t start.”
“Yes… yes, I can understand that. It is upsetting. Very. What else is missing? Well, I just have the report.”
“No, sir. Ah… No I haven’t seen it myself.”
“You had nice wheels on it? Let’s see. No sir, the report doesn’t say anything about wheels.”
“Inside? Well, there’s not much. Let’s see… it says that the driver’s side air bag is missing.”
“No sir, I’m… I’m not sure why. The report doesn’t say anything about a collision.”
“The engine? Let’s see. Ah… no, the report doesn’t say anything about the engine.”
“Ah… no sir, I can’t leave my station to go and look at your engine or the wheels.”
“Yes, I’m sorry about that but… well, wait a minute. It seems to be parked in spot 26. I should be able to see that from the window. Please hold a minute.”
(long pause follows)
“Mr. Murray? OK, yes I did see your car.”
“How does it look? Ah… actually, it looks kind of…. ah… well, kind of FLAT.”
This kind of theft recovery certainly falls under the category of Be careful what you ask for. If you want to have a good cry, click on over to the Insurance Auto Auctions “high end” page [6] and browse a bit to see a chronicle of man’s inhumanity to cars.