Though the crimes were committed by a pharmacist in the Tri-State Area, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was not suspected of any involvement.

Ah, Atlantic City, Jewel of New Jersey! Some would say you are merely Las Vegas minus the class and cleanliness, but we know better. In fact, there is at least one oasis of beauty in AC, where one can recuperate from the excess of an all-night casino crawl among the best sports cars America has to offer – Kerbeck Chevrolet, the world’s largest Corvette dealership.

In fact, that’s just what the police allege Simon C. Dolmaian, 42, of Garden City, New York did earlier this month. After reportedly spending a Thursday night enjoying the local gambling establishments, Friday morning Dolmaian made a visit to Kerbeck and engaged the staff in a conversation about possibly buying a 2013 Corvette convertible he had his eye on. So far, so good.

Of course you wouldn’t be reading about it if things didn’t go very, very wrong from there on out… Since the keys were in the car, Dolmaian hopped in and drove off, much to the surprise of the Kerbeck staff. He eventually ended up pulled over by the police near the New Jersey side of the Holland Tunnel for reckless driving.

The cops ran the VIN on the Corvette, which still had the $71k sticker on the window, and discovered it had been reported stolen from Kerbeck earlier that day. They also discovered that Dolmaian was intoxicated, and carrying $40,000 in cash and a bunch of prescription pills.

Oh, did we mention he’s a pharmacist? Yah, probably not gonna be one for much longer…