Stop dreaming about that 120k 2012 ZR1 it ain’t gonna happen lets face it you won’t get a finer car than this, and I don’t mean that in a good way. This is the best your ever gonna do, it’s time to settle, you’ve made some poor choices in your life and you have to wear a nametag at work so all you can spend on a car is 3k so whats it gonna be?

Most Craigslist ads and eBay auctions we come across are written very matter-of-factly (if they’re even comprehensible in the first place), which often suffices to let us know whether or not we should buy said item. But sometimes we come across those sales posted by frustrated, motivated, or just very funny people with too much free time. Most of the time it is for crappy beaters, but today’s Craigslist find isn’t just funny, but its a veritable bargain.

The title says it all; “A running and driving Corvette for under 3k? No Way!” Way brother, way.

The post starts out by giving us an eerily accurate portrait of ourselves. “Stop dreaming about that 120k 2012 ZR1 it ain’t gonna happen lets face it you won’t get a finer car than this, and I don’t mean that in a good way. This is the best your ever gonna do, it’s time to settle, you’ve made some poor choices in your life and you have to wear a nametag at work so all you can spend on a car is 3k so whats it gonna be?”

It’s gonna be this guy’s “Cougar huntin’” Corvette if he has his way. But how good could a $2,900 Corvette be? “Mechanically the Mullet mobile starts right up (has new exhaust) and runs good, Hit the gas and it’ll outrun a Toyota with defective floormats.” But what about some other Chevy? “A Camaro? do you always go for the ugly fat sister? Hell no! F-that F-body.”

Good point. How is it on gas? “C4 Vettes actually get good mileage too, about 25 per gallon on the highway, Premium? F-that Honey Badger runs fine on regular. Plus anytime your with two or more friends someone else has to drive ya’ll with their big boring land yacht, how much gas does that save?”

We’re convinced! What do we have to do next? “Don’t hold out! driving intact Vettes for under 3k are as rare as Hot girls that give you a real phone number. So stop waiting for Taylor Swift to write back to you and ask that Fat girl behind the counter at McDonalds that always seems to give you extra fries out for a date cuz this is it for you.”

Grab your Electroplated Gold chain, and Def Leppard CD and come on down and buy it before your mom goes in your room, finds your cash stash and spends it on Whiskey and weed.” Wiser words were never uttered.