Baffling Russian Video: Drive C5 Z06, Lay Down in Front of Truck

Editor’s Note: Two semesters of Russian in college, twenty years or so ago, have left me ill prepared to sort out what is going on in this video. To help get some insight, I’ve enlisted the help of my Russian cousin, Pavel Yakovich, to explain. – Paul Huizenga

In Russia today, since collapse of former Soviet Union, two types of driving environment available: Gotham-style urban dystopia and frozen empty wilderness. Video shown demonstrates proper method of transport for each variation. Is typical Russian day – drive Corvette of Batman type, get run over by truck. Easier to show than tell in text, so observe the following.

Russian commitment to low carbon footprint is unmatched. Example of nuclear cooling towers in the remaking to luxury apartment flats.

Sideways drift motion of Batman car is useful for avoiding gunfire accuracy of Chechen rebels.

Fact not of common knowledege: "Ghostriding of the Whip" originates with tankovyy desant in Great Patriotic War.

You must select Corvette of the Z06 specification - speed is of the best when encountering RDM (Russian Domestic Market) car type in collision due to 1,4cm steel body construction. Presenter says, 'I find sunglasses in console, for the making of American hipster duckface pose!'

In wasteland region, when transport breaks down, signal for autobus by standing on disabled vehicle to prevent wolf attack.

Local custom for autobus rider is to make signal to driver by laying in mud, 'Please stop here - I am not carrier of zombie virus.' Driver will place tire on your pelvis to check for bursting like rotten melon.

When arrived at destination, caution is taken crossing city park due to mud is not winter-frozen.

City of Novosibirsk improves to tourists with romantic canal as in Italy Venice!

Thanks again to Pavel for his insight. He also informs us that the truck in the second half of the video is a TRECOL 39294, a 2500kg specialty transport that can carry up to 8 people across practically any terrain, albeit slowly – the base engine is a 2.4L gas powerplant churning out a whopping 90 horsepower and 128 pound feet of torque.

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