Photos Courtesy: Marion County Sheriff's Office Facebook Page

Photos Courtesy: Marion County Sheriff’s Office Facebook Page

It used to be that learning how to drive a manual-transmission-equipped car was a rite of passage for all  - either you had an uncle with an old car that taught you how to do it when you were 14, or you were lucky enough to have a parent that wasn’t afraid to row gears, and you went into the driving test feeling like a badass.

1779068_692012590819352_1771133952_nNot so for this idiot – one Annas Abdel-Khaliq of Marion County, Florida. According to the report, Abdel-Khaliq attempted to steal a 2012 Corvette from Ocala Ford Motors in the Sunshine State, but didn’t get very far – only about 100 feet from its previous position, before the hare-brained scheme hatched in his pea-sized mind began to unravel.

Marion County Sheriff’s Deputy Bloom ordered him to get out of the car, which he refused to do. So what was his next step? Why, to grab a steel bar and bash the deputy with it a few times in his haste to get away. 

Deputy Bloom got him out of the car, whereupon he started to run away. His mad dash was short-lived as Deputy Batts – who had just arrived – unleashed the pepper spray and the two deputies caught Abdel-Khaliq and subsequently placed him under arrest. 

1779068_692012584152686_160624586_nWe have a couple of questions. First, if you’re going to be dumb enough to try to steal a car with no tags off a well-lit dealer lot, wouldn’t you check first to see if you could drive it?

Secondly, people still smoke Pall Malls?  We thought those were reserved for the retired longshoreman that sits on the porch in his rocker at that house on the end of the block.

As our good friend Forrest Gump says, “stupid is as stupid does”, and in this case, it’s 100% true. So now Mr. Abdel-Khaliq has a sweet charge of “aggravated burglary on a law enforcement officer” on his record to go with the Grand Theft Auto tag. That’s a great way to enter your twenties.

A huge shout-out to our friends at Pfadt for finding this story…