Lauren Hargrove: Twelve Things I Want To Find Under The Tree From GM
Santa’s elves are loading up the sleigh with treats for good little girls and boys, but for the bowtie lover I am focusing my Christmas list on what I want from GM. Since the song covers 12 days of Christmas, this list is going to contain the dozen things I want to wake up to find under or near my tree (due to size restrictions and only having a single front door) on Christmas morning. If additional space is needed I could put the tree in the driveway to make room…
On the first day of Christmas:
I would like to find an actual new Trans Am, not a fifth generation Camaro with a body kit and decals next to my tree. This new Trans Am should have a 6-speed manual transmission and the ZR1 Corvette engine.
On the second day of Christmas:
I would like to see a gift given to someone other than myself. If Santa can send the fifth generation Camaro a gift card to Weight Watchers or perhaps a trip to fat camp, it would be awesome. These cars produce plenty of power, but they are heifers that could benefit from some serious weight loss. Not to mention it would make a drag race with the new Coyote Mustang a little more interesting.
On the third day of Christmas:
How about a truck that can compete with the Ford Raptor without the frame bending on jumps? Imagine the endless news stories with videos of stupid reckless redneck behavior out in the deserts or sand dunes with such a great truck.
On the fourth day of Christmas:
Bring back T-tops! This third roof option needs to reappear in sales brochures; for those who have owned a T-top car it is an experience that cannot be described and the younger generation is being denied the privilege of the moronic behavior that goes along with this option. Not to mention that there are few things in life as cool as Trans Am, Firebird or Camaro with T-tops.
On the fifth day of Christmas:
Yet another request for someone other than myself; my editor would love to see the return of the El Camino based on the PPV platform. Personally, it would be nice to have a happy editor/boss and if the Chevy Claus can make this happen the world will be a much happier place.
On the sixth day of Christmas:
Would it be possible to see the return of the Impala as a full sized V-8 powered car versus the mild mannered rental car variety that currently cruises the buffets around 4pm? This model has history and the current incarnation seems a little on weak side; although the addition of LS engine might help the power situation the styling still needs to be addressed.
On the seventh day of Christmas:
An optional supercharger with a factory warranty on the Camaro along with the Corvette (Z06 and Grand Sport Models) would make many gearheads very happy on Christmas morning. Heck, it is the season of giving so why not supercharge everything, and in the case of the diesel trucks large turbos would be killer.
On the eighth day of Christmas:
A new 3500-series HD dually 4×4 diesel truck would be a great addition, because my old truck might not like towing all of the new toys to the drag strip. Add in one of those fancy front bumpers with a winch and fifth-wheel or gooseneck set-up to make this an amazing eighth-day of Christmas gift.
On the ninth day of Christmas:
I have a special place in my heart for the Cadillac CTS-V after having the opportunity to drive one, but my single complaint with this car is the shifter. This is truly an awesome car, but the shifter truly sucks. It’s got the heart of a sports car – make it change gears like one!
On the tenth day of Christmas:
Twenty minutes alone in the GMPP warehouse with a really really large sleigh or cart. Imagine how much damage one person could do in twenty minutes; it would be like that old supermarket game show or the Nickelodeon Super Toy Run, but for grown-ups.
On the eleventh day of Christmas:
Bring back the turbo Buicks, not some cheap imitation. A modern day resurrection of the 1986 Grand National with more power, T-tops (see the fourth day of Christmas request) and a killer suspension. One of the big complaints about the Holden-sourced Pontiac GTO was that it didn’t have a real identity of its own, but imagine that chassis with a turbo six…
On the twelfth day of Christmas:
Finally, I would love to be the first automotive journalist to take a few uncamouflaged pictures of the C7 Corvette and see some specifications instead of speculation on what will be under the hood. If possible, a test drive or even just a ride would make this wish complete.